So after giving into gentle pressure from a fan of my blog, I am going to let y’all know what I felt about the remake of The Clash of Titans.  First, a little background information.  I love Greek myth;  I love the evocative images and the creative tales.  I really enjoy the characters and the concepts; and I have a deep appreciation for the themes, motifs, and characteristics of the great Greek heroes (some more than others, as expected).  By the way, it is out of this that I have such a great respect and love for the book series, Percy Jackson & the Olympians.  I grew up watching and knowing the original Clash of the Titans.  When I saw the trailers for this remake, I was not excited; it just didn’t strike me as something impressive.  However, to my knowledge, myths are designed to be malleable; they can be retold in such unique ways so that they can fit whatever moral, story, or situation the teller/audience needs.  So, I expected changes to be made and I needed to bear that in mind when watching.  Even with an open mind, it was not exactly compelling cinema.

Before I start fuming over what I loathed about this movie, let me start with what I liked.  The very start of the movie was exposition to the Greek myth surrounding the titans, set with the backdrop of the constellations and stars in the sky; awesome!  Liam Nieson as Zeus was beyond great!  He looks great with a beard and, in my opinion, carries the weight and authority befitting the lord of Olympus and king of the gods.  Also, the design for the Kraken was truly titanic.  It was immense and frightening and truly put the original Kraken to shame.  Sadly, the list is not that long.

My complaints with this movie are not all about how weak it seems compared to the original; in fact, I think none of the problems I saw with the movie had to do with the original being better or anything like that.  First things first: the title.  WHERE ARE THE FRAKKING TITANS?!  By the movie’s own admission at the very beginning, the titans were defeated long before the events of the movie and done with; the Kraken doesn’t count due to its origin in this movie.  So, there are no titans clashing at all and therefore doesn’t really live up to its own name.
Grievance the second, Perseus is not a hero.  I’m sorry, but he isn’t.  He’s a stubborn modern American male with low self-esteem artificially transplanted into a Greek myth.  He does not want any help from the gods, he doesn’t even want to pray to them.  He does this because “he’s a man!”  Oh, and despite his impious attitude, none of the gods decide to smite him for it; in fact, he is rewarded with goodies from Olympus, of which he turns down because “he’s a man!”  This is not Perseus; he isn’t even a hero!  The other soldiers who accompany him are more heroic than Perseus!  I guess my problem is that he is far too human for me to see him as the archetypal Greek hero.  Like I said, he has modern American views and beliefs that clash with the setting.
Speaking of conflicting views, why is everyone trying to overthrow the gods?  Also, why were the gods such wussies about this?  The gods were not simply managers of reality, they were bad-asses who didn’t take anybody’s (ANYBODY’S!) guff.  If any mortal so much as sneezed on a holy site of the gods with malevolent intent, that person would be a smoking crater seconds later.  Now, I will admit that is a comparison to the original myths, but not the original Clash of the Titans.  However, it is an appeal to the logic of the movie; they are gods who ask for worship from humanity.  When they get uppity, are there no miracles to bolster the morale?  Part of the reason why there were demigods, besides the gods being incredibly horny and adulterous, was because they could inspire mortals to perform great deeds.  I just do not like seeing the great Greek gods of old being reduced to a bunch of inept and passive observers wringing their hands in the hopes that everything will turn out right.

From a more technical/marketing standpoint, I highly recommend to NOT see this movie in 3-D.  Why?  It was pointless; no, scratch that, the point was to be more expensive to the audience.  There were no gimmicks that were worth the extra money and the environment was not that immersive.  Don’t be mistaken, the visuals of the Greecian landscape was breathtakingly beautiful, but that can be accomplished just as easily with higher quaility digital film, instead of utilizing a tired (in my opinion) gimmick.

I am going to stop here.  Please leave any recommendations for future game reviews, or anything else for that matter, in the comments section of any entry.  Thank you for listening.

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